kurorahk: (Default)
Well have not done much with my day. I was planning on working on pulling another stump but I woke up to find that it had been poring for the past few hours, well 10 hours. We need the rain, in May we were short on rain. But because of it being rainy I kinda spent my whole day in my room desperately trying to do something to entertain myself. This was not as easy as it sounds, some forms of boredom are really hard for me to deal with, and as such causes me to lose many hours on nothing. I managed to keep myself from breaking down and just sleeping the day away by playing more Oblivion and doing side quests, but still it was dull...

Now I am listening to Warhammer 40,000 Dawn of War II's soundtrack, which is good, much better than most RTS games of late. Well okay it destroys C&C Generals and C&C Tiberium Wars soundtracks due to they had horrible soundtracks, Generals only had like 5 songs for the whole freaking game... Anyways more to the point, I am starting to feel depressed, and as such the general tendency of how my mind demonstrates this feeling, though it could be just dread, is like I have wings but instead of having them pulled in like a normal flying animal, they are drooping and slack against the ground dragging behind me. Yes my mind is weird, I am used to it for the most part since I have lived in it for the past 19 years or so. I just feel down and out of it physically. I guess this is either in response to my Granny's presumed near to death status, or for some other reasons that would pull at what emotions I have left. Damn though some times I feel so emo, but thankfully I do not like how they dress :P

Well I guess I am going to try to find either something to liven up my day, well what is left of it, or something to at least distract me from most things going on in my personal life right now. Well maybe tomorrow I will be in a better mood since I have a friend coming over to try to repair my Xbox, if we are lucky withing the half hour of his coming over to my house we can play Halo and Halo 2 again. That will get me feeling a lot better than I am right now, killing aliens bent on the destruction of all of humanity with a friend who is competent at playing as well.

Still though I wish I had better contact with one of my friends, but well she has stuff to do, and she may have a lot going on right now so whatever. I really do hate summer, not just for its heat, but for how little contact I get to have with my friends, especially those who I have come to hang out with a lot of my time.

Short way of putting things, I am tired, sad, probably a bit depressed, and most defiantly lonely. I hate being any of those... not because of showing emotion, but because of how hard it is to deal with any of those for me. I am very glad not many people at this point read this, because really this journal helps me cope a lot of times with things going on, and helps my memory.


kurorahk: (Default)

August 2012

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